


Ding Dong the Witch Gives Head

by oofoe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, First Time, I'm gonna puke this is so absurdly vanilla, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 17:42:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18481162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oofoe/pseuds/oofoe
Summary: In which Dave and Jade have their first time. Made for a friend.





	Ding Dong the Witch Gives Head

Naked. Blushing. Hearts pounding. Across from each other on top of the bedsheets. Staring at each other, while, at the same time, trying to not make eye contact. You know, normal virgin stuff.

Jade was the one who broke their silence. “Can you… at least take off your sunglasses?”

“The shades stay on,” Dave replied. “They make me look cool.”

She gave a nervous giggle. “I don’t think that really matters right _now_ , does it?”

He shook his head. “It matters now more than _ever,_ believe me.”

She sighed. “Are you... sure you wanna go through with this?”

He nodded. “Oh, hell yeah, I’m just, you know, getting into the zone. The bone zone. Gettin’ ready to get hot and heavy, you know?”

She giggled again, this time less nervous and more amused. “Sure, right, the _bone zone,_ you flippin’ nerd.” She leaned in, bringing her lips to his in a gentle, loving smooch. His hand grazed her cheek, and hers sat next to him on the bed to prop herself up. “How about I start us off then, while you find your center or whatever?”

“I’d… I wouldn’t say _no_ to that, exactly, but I think I-- Oh you’re just going to go right for it then okay.”

Just as Dave’d described, Jade was lowering her head to Dave’s lower half, brushing some hair out of her face on the way so that there wasn’t anything obstructing the act to follow. Dave leaned back, against the bed’s backboard, to try and relax and enjoy the experience. “Watch the teeth,” he said with a smirk, winking at Jade under his glasses.

“Oh, shove it,” she grumbled, giving a cursory kiss to the head of Dave’s growing hard on. “I don’t _have_ to do this for you, ya know.”

“Well, no, I guess not,” Dave admitted with a shrug. A slight shudder ran up his spine as Jade’s tongue ran up the underside of his shaft, trailing from the base to the tip and back again. “I-I could always go d-down on you instead, ya know.”

“I’m good.” She gave a playful kiss to his balls, sucking on one gently (eliciting a moan from Dave that she just _loved_ ), before returning to to main event. She couldn’t help but go “Aaaahn” as she opened her mouth wide, like some kind of pervy dentist visit. In a single, lewd motion, she engulfed half of Dave’s length.

He bit his lip, trying not to moan (cuz guys moaning isn’t cool). A hand found its way to Jade’s head, holding on to her hair as she bobbed up and down on his dick, trying to take more and more of him down her throat. “G-god, you’re so fucking good at this.”

She gave a pleased _mm-hmm_ without pulling up from his dick. She was proud of her blowjob skills, thought she’d never admit something so _sexual_ out loud. There had been a lot of opportunities to practice since she and Dave started doing _lewd_ things, especially since he was nervous (which was adorable, by the way) about moving past oral stuff. And Dave simply _loved_ it, which helped. Usually he ended up cumming in just a couple minutes from the act, letting out a precious, satisfied moan as he did.

Speaking of which, it was about that time, Jade could feel. He was twitching in her mouth and his grip on her beautiful black hair was tightening. His breathing was growing heavier and more rapid, the utterances of _“Fuck”_ and _“Goddamn”_ under his breath increasing in turn. She knew the signs well, and thus knew exactly when to let up to keep him from reaching that point.

“Not yet, Strider,” she said with a wry smirk, peeking up at him as she released his manhood from her mouth’s pleasurable hold on it. “You’re not done until I say so.”

“Aaah, fuck babe,” Dave breathed, looking down at her through his steamed up shades, “don’t tease me like that!”

Jade gave his throbbing, aching hard-on a playful swat with her fingers as she rolled her eyes. “I’ll tease you however I like, punk! This is the night we finally _do the do_ , and we can’t exactly get that do did if you blow so early on!”

“Everything you just said was terrible.”  
  
“I’ll show you terrible,” she threatened, which didn’t make sense in hindsight as the thing she did immediately afterwards was lie on her back before Dave, revealing her decidedly unterrible body to him all at once. “Come stick that thing in this thing.”

He was a bit flustered, but who wouldn’t be? A beautiful young woman, putting it all on display for you and literally _telling_ you to fuck her, it’d make anybody pause. Especially if you’re the kind of guy who talks a big game but doesn’t have the _actual_ game to back it up, and uses a facade of artificial ‘coolness’ as a defense mechanism due to a kinda fucked up upbringing and lack of self confidence. Luckily, that didn’t apply to Dave, not at all, no sir. “‘This thing’ being… your, uh, you know?”

She nodded. “My lady parts, yes.”

“Right, just confirming. Didn’t wanna… nevermind, let’s just do this.”

He leaned over her, lining his face up with hers as he lined their naughty bits up as well. Holy shit, it was really about to happen. All those lies he told on the internet about fucking _mad bitches_ were about to become a little bit less lie-y. A little bit. He took a deep, long breath, preparing himself for what he considered to be the best moment of his life so far.

Jade could see his nerves kicking back in, and so looked up at him with those beautiful green eyes of hers. “...Hey.”

He snapped out of it. “Y-yeah?”

She gave him that reassuring smile, the one that he’d fallen for. “Just go for it.”

It took him a second, but he realized he should take her advice. In a single, smooth motion, he leaned in to give Jade a deep kiss, the most passionate he’d ever given, while pushing his lower half into hers, crossing the threshold into lovemaking. She didn’t expect him to _actually_ just go for it, so she was pleasantly surprised when he did, moaning into his kiss and wrapping her arms around his neck as they kissed.

It was so _warm_ inside her, it felt like his dick was going to melt. And it was so _soft_ , he’d almost say it was comfortable. And her lips against his, their tongues wrestling in the single sealed space their two mouths combined to great, combined with the gentle _press_ of her cute breasts against his chest… he’d call it Heaven, but that didn’t seem like a cool enough word.

They laid there, wrapped in each other and savoring their coupling, until he decided to make the next move. Dave figured he had a pretty good grasp on what to do next, as he’d seen _lots_ of pornos. More than he’d like to admit, actually. Regardless, the point is that he knew what to do (he thinks).

“Ohhh, that’s it,” Jade purred, fingers digging into Dave’s back as he began to pump away at her. In and out, over and over at a steady, not slow but not too fast speed, his dick pressing into her at just the right spot to drive her _wild_ . “K-keep going, babe,” she said with a breathy, lustful tone. He happily did as requested.

It felt so _good_ , he wished he’d done this _a long time ago_. The knowledge that Jade was enjoying herself too only enhanced the pleasure, honestly, encouraging him to put even more effort in as he went to town on his lover.

Her legs wrapped themselves around his waist, locking them together even more. She was in paradise, the guy of her dreams finally doing to her what he tended to do _in_ said dreams (if you know what I mean). And despite the nervous start, he was _so good_ (frankly, she hadn't expected much so this was a pleasant surprise). And his dick was just right in every way, like they were literally made for each other. She’d swear she’d never been more aroused in her entire life.

Unfortunately for the both of them, all good things must, as they say, come to an end. It was their mutual first time, after all, and neither really had the stamina to keep it going for any impressive amount of time. After eight or so minutes of heated, amorous sex, filled with coos of erotic praise about how good the other was and how much they loved them, with kissing and scratching and panting and sweating, Dave felt that telltale feeling starting to well up.

“J-Jade,” he grunted, one hand cradling her head while the other propped him up against the backboard, “I’m c-close.”

M-me too,” she admitted, gripping the bed sheets. “I want it i-inside me!” 

He kept pounding away. “Are you sure?”

She groaned a throaty, primal groan, writhing underneath him as her toes started to curl. “Never been more sure!” There was a pause before the sensation of climax finally hit her. “Ohhh! I-I’m, I’m…!” She wailed in pleasure, gripping _tight_ around his shoulders as waves of pleasure rocked through her body. It was strong enough that _Dave_ could feel it, her pussy squeezing tight on his length as her orgasm reached its peak.

He breathed a quiet _“Fuck”_ as his own powerful climax hit him. With a long, satisfied moan (dammit, it’s _still_ not cool), he bottomed out in Jade, pressing his and her bodies together so firmly that there wasn’t a drop of sweat’s worth of space separating them. Kissing her with a yearning and fervor that bordered on hunger, he didn’t even notice his glasses slipping off. All he could feel was her body against his as he released inside of her, the greatest sensation he’d ever felt.

They laid there in the blissful aftermath of their first time, not saying a word, because nothing really needed to be said. Sweating and exhausted, slowly, Dave cautiously pulled out before he rolled off of her, ending up at her side. Her hand crept over to his afterwards, their fingers intertwining and squeezing each other. Life was good.

 

tl;dr they boned hard


End file.
